Maybe you should make a list for me, of everything important in this world.

… “In a note of urgency, because I don’t know how I feel.”

Summer’s over in four days? Of course, this isn’t naturally decided- education did it.

So, I’m bi. I’m not sure if I’ve written it here, ever, but that’s what I am. I’m not following a trend, all right?

Anthony is being a jerk and says that I’m only saying that because I want attention. I don’t need attention. Anthony’s put me on the defense, as you can tell. He’s just so frustrating lately. A few months ago, I thought that I could never dislike him. I just wish I never started that damn debate, because if I didn’t, we’d be just fine right now. I can’t stand talking to him anymore; he always gets me in a bad mood. I absolutely hate how we can’t talk without mentioning religion. We were just fine before! I can’t believe this debate has jeopardized our friendship- if I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t have done this.

So, yeah. I like someone. I think this whole thing about Logan has more or less, blown over for now. When school starts, I’ll like him again, but I’m enjoying these last couple of days in which I have little affection for him. She’s really cute, we’ve hung out before. She had food science with me, too, haha. Darn it, she’s really pro-bible, so she wouldn’t dig me back. There’s this other girl that’s really cute, too, but she’s too emo for me, so I don’t think I could deal with her. And, of course- there’s that other girl, but everyone is in love with her, including one of my best friends, so I’m not going to bother. I can’t live with myself knowing that I have a crush on someone who is loved by one of my best friends. Even if she gave up on her.

I’ve been knitting myself a sweater- I started it less than a week ago? And I’m almost done with it. I have to finish the sleeves, join them into the round, knit the rest of the sweater, then sew the sleeves up and add a button band. The last four steps are relatively easy and quick, haha.

Megan has Spanish with me, so I’m not going to switch out of the class, after all. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I didn’t have Megan around. But then again, I don’t have any of my other close friends in my classes. Okay, Daniella and Mary are close to me, but they are on a different level. They’re close, but not extraordinarily close like Lorren/Shelley/Laurie are. I wish Debbie had classes with me, because I don’t think we’ll be as close as we are now during the year. I have a feeling that the state of our relationship now is the deepest it will ever be.

I want to feel the warmth from the buzz that I create

… “Because all I wanted was all I could take, and some stood up while the others had to wait, and I took my turn to state my case, but I could be wrong.”

I feel so morbid right now. D:

It’s surprisingly possible to analyze a concept to a point at which it becomes nothing. And that is exactly what I was doing today during volleyball, since the dude in front of me won’t stop hogging it. Geez. I don’t want to look like I’m not trying. I DO want my credits, you know.

We did a bajillion sit-ups today and we ran the track. I don’t need to do all this stuff! I’m really skinny as it is, this is not helping. But I suppose some muscle mass couldn’t hurt. Debbie and I had a heart-to-heart moment. And Laurie died on the track, pretty much. All-in-all, a bad time was had by all.

Being fifteen is feels strangely similar to when I was fourteen. Mmph.

Damn it, people, religion is stupid. And so is praying. During the Black Plague, tons of people banded together and prayed for God to “forgive them,” because they thought the Black Plague was induced by God to punish everyone for their sins. The precautions people made were innumerable, out of hopes of avoiding the plague. There was this group of people that recreated Christ’s crucifixion, so the Black Plague would go away. And yet, none of this worked at all. The Black Plague continued to thrive throughout Europe following the first wave in the 1340s, killing tons of people despite the constant prayer.

I’m at a loss, you were my tangerine

… “My pussycat, my trampoline. Now all I get are wincing cheeks and dog problems, I signed a lease, thinking my heart belonged at 93rd and Park, instead I broke a girl’s heart,
and flew back to Phoenix to finish the year as it started!”

Summer school sucked, because we are obviously doing the same thing we’ve been doing for the past two years. Forget when I said I disliked my teacher last year; at least she was somewhat unorthodox.

I’m tired of boys. I really am. There are a good handful of guys I feel I cannot live without, don’t get me wrong, but I am so tired of random dudes liking me. It’s okay if I know a dude and he likes me. But one or two pleasant conversations with me does not mean that I like you. I may be nice, but I think you are a real idiot. Go away.

So today, I woke up an hour early; I painted before I got to summer school; we almost got lost on the way there; we played Ultimate Frisbee. I’m so tired of this game.

We went on break and did some work out of textbooks. I actually have a textbook for this class. The irony never ends. And then we went out onto the track and ran, I don’t know why, seeing as we are going to record mile times tomorrow, and we only had fifteen minutes left.

Fairview is very ghetto. If I didn’t appreciate CK before, I certainly do now. RJH wasn’t that bad, but dude, Fairview looks to be the ghetto-est.

But there was a highlight of summer school, one of which I will never forget:

This dude was blocking Riza during Ultimate Frisbee, and Riza tickled him and he fell down. It was swt, but it’s okay because the dude didn’t mind.

Ah. Tired. Peace out.

Staring over the intersection, she thinks that she can fly and she might

Mom and Andy are supposed to go shopping together today. I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I finally started making my sweater… It’s so addicting. I thought that I wouldn’t like making it- considering the fact that it’s something to do while watching tv… Either way- I picked out this beautiful ivory colored yarn.. It’s so smooth. The sweater’s going to be striped with another equally soft and beautiful blue yarn. It still takes forever. I had to cast on a 151 times, and I have to make fifteen rows. Do the math, and that’s 2265 stitches, and that’s only the first row. And consider the fact that I have to make the sleeves and a yoke. This is going to be very time consuming. But, I have a few days to kill before school starts- and this is a way to do so.

I’ve been baking like crazy lately. I made some awesome peach-blueberry cobbler the day before yesterday; it was delicious. We never usually have peaches or blueberries around the house- so it was a nice change of pace to make something that requires said fruit. Last night, I made blueberry cobbler with the leftover frozen blueberries- it wasn’t as good as the peach-blueberry one, but we didn’t have any more peaches- dad only bought me one can of peaches.

It rained last night. It hasn’t rained in such a long time- I missed its smell. It was nice. My dogs enjoyed it alot, too. Seeing the dogs lick the rainwater off the patio- a sight that I’ve missed, too. I like the rain here, but it’d be nice to live somewhere that has a different climate.
“… You said the rain’s the rain, some air’d be good for you.”

You see, it’s no where in sight, but at least she knows she’s pretty

I woke up and ate Rice Crispies. It’s been a while since I’ve heard the snap, crackle, and pop of those things. They’re pretty loud. It woke me up a little. I poured on two cups of sugar, and I was all better.

I’m still trying to find a sweater pattern to knit. I’m relatively new to knitting- I’ve knit scarves before, plenty of times. But, I have a knack for picking hobbies up very quickly- I guess it’s a gift.

Gosh, we have one more week until school starts!! I need to empty out my backpack. I picked out my outfit.. I’m surprised. But, it sucks, because you pick out your outfit for the first day, and then the second day of school comes around, and then it’s like, “Now what?”. So, I have to pick out what I have to wear the next day, and I end up wearing a sweatshirt.. XD

Summer is officially over when- the 4400, the dead zone, monk, and psych all end in the same three-day span. It’s depressing, because you have to wait a whole year to see the 4400 again. The 4400 is one of my most anticipated shows- since it has an actual plot. The other shows I watch, usually consist of different story lines that start and finish in the same episode, the 4400 is one huge story line, carried over three seasons.

Gosh- having the school year start.. Makes me realize that there’s no way I’m going to get sick this year. Honestly- I get sick every single year. Specifically- on holiday break. Last year sucked mostly because I was sick a quarter of the time. It’s gross. I look less than attractive when I’m sick.

I should be getting my fabric today in the mail. I ordered it such a long time ago, it seems!
I checked my balance on my card- I have twenty seven dollars. That means that I’ve spent over seventy dollars this summer. I never spend that much money.. Gosh. And, now I’m starting to find the good deals.

You know..
I read somewhere, that Jack’s Mannequin is not here to stay. I think they’re right. I mean- their songs are all centered around Andrew’s summer.
And, AVA doesn’t feel right either. Their record sales are not that great- despite Tom’s constant ego before their record dropped, preaching his words, “This record will change the world and music forever.”. I don’t think that happened - at all.
Greg from Punchline quit the band. Their next two shows are the last ones with him in it. I just found that interesting- the band has been together for a year and a half? That’s quite quick.
Big City Dreams broke up too. This summer has been full of bands breaking up.

Well, P!ATD and Jack’s Mannequin are touring, and they’re coming to Seattle in a few months. Jack’s is actually opening for P!ATD. A truly great band, opening for a bad one. Way to go. At least I can watch Jack’s Mannequin, and leave before Panic! comes on. Thank god, I don’t have to go through a whole show of Bloodhound-gang impersonators [lyrically]. Err.. I really want to go, actually. Andrew is getting better- but I’d hate for something to happen and he won’t be around to tour- and I wouldn’t be able to see a great show.

The neon hurt inside your phone call.

Gosh, this tapioca pudding tastes terrible. It makes me feel like yawning, I think that’s Synesthesia produced =D

I am in need of:
- Sleep
- A better tapioca pudding. Even though this tastes really bad- I’m still eating it. I like feeling like I have to yawn- and just not yawning. It’s interesting. Especially since I don’t feel forced to yawn.. It’s hard to explain.
- Some tiny salad shrimp, I want to make dinner tonight.
- a waistband for my awesome new dress. My new dress is so cute, but it needs something extra. I’m thinking a satin dark blue waistband, since the fabric is cotton, and a light blue. It’d be a nice contrast.

I do feel very tired, though. We played dodgeball today.. It wasn’t that fun. I wish it were- but it wasn’t. We did break, then we went to the weight room.

Summer school is ending in two days!!!

I don’t like pudding cups. When it’s almost empty- the spoon makes the pudding cup fall over. Even when it’s totally full!!
As you can see, I’m here trying to gain weight again. Sadly, I’m exercising everyday- so the weight that I “gain”, I lose again. My metabolism is also, very very fast.. Way too fast for me. No wonder I’m a lonesome ninety pounds- and I’m entering ninth grade. I think the gods hate me.

Love that dress. I would make it, actually. Doing tiers aren’t supposed to be that hard. Especially since that dress is priced at a hundred and seventy dollars..

Oh.. That dress, is so beautiful! I love those kind of dresses, but I don’t know how I could accomplish that kind of bodice. I’ll have to think of that more. And, I’ll need to find some fabric like that. But either way- I love that one, more than the first dress.

I love sweaters. I always have. I tend to like ones like this- knitted, striped, slightly oversized.. So comfortable. I would take up knitting, only to make that, and have as many as I want!

I’m starting to like jackets more.

I find myself thinking about clothes alot, lately. It makes me feel very odd. I’ve never truly thought about clothing, for more than a few seconds. Much less, taking it apart in my mind, to figure out how I could make it later. It does make me feel shallow, and I’m afraid that other people view me this way, from the way I write here. Clothing is not all that I think about. Crafting is not all that I think about.

I’m thinking of pursuing myself to reading random wikipedia articles, at least twice a day. I like learning. Just not the boring stuff we learn in school. I mean, when does Tourette’s ever come up? How about styles of the 1800s? Sensory defensiveness? Exactly.

The neon hurt inside your phone call.

Gosh, this tapioca pudding tastes terrible. It makes me feel like yawning, I think that’s Synesthesia produced =D

I am in need of:
- Sleep
- A better tapioca pudding. Even though this tastes really bad- I’m still eating it. I like feeling like I have to yawn- and just not yawning. It’s interesting. Especially since I don’t feel forced to yawn.. It’s hard to explain.
- Some tiny salad shrimp, I want to make dinner tonight.
- a waistband for my awesome new dress. My new dress is so cute, but it needs something extra. I’m thinking a satin dark blue waistband, since the fabric is cotton, and a light blue. It’d be a nice contrast.

I do feel very tired, though. We played dodgeball today.. It wasn’t that fun. I wish it were- but it wasn’t. We did break, then we went to the weight room.

Summer school is ending in two days!!!

I don’t like pudding cups. When it’s almost empty- the spoon makes the pudding cup fall over. Even when it’s totally full!!
As you can see, I’m here trying to gain weight again. Sadly, I’m exercising everyday- so the weight that I “gain”, I lose again. My metabolism is also, very very fast.. Way too fast for me. No wonder I’m a lonesome ninety pounds- and I’m entering ninth grade. I think the gods hate me.

Love that dress. I would make it, actually. Doing tiers aren’t supposed to be that hard. Especially since that dress is priced at a hundred and seventy dollars..

Oh.. That dress, is so beautiful! I love those kind of dresses, but I don’t know how I could accomplish that kind of bodice. I’ll have to think of that more. And, I’ll need to find some fabric like that. But either way- I love that one, more than the first dress.

I love sweaters. I always have. I tend to like ones like this- knitted, striped, slightly oversized.. So comfortable. I would take up knitting, only to make that, and have as many as I want!

I’m starting to like jackets more.

I find myself thinking about clothes alot, lately. It makes me feel very odd. I’ve never truly thought about clothing, for more than a few seconds. Much less, taking it apart in my mind, to figure out how I could make it later. It does make me feel shallow, and I’m afraid that other people view me this way, from the way I write here. Clothing is not all that I think about. Crafting is not all that I think about.

I’m thinking of pursuing myself to reading random wikipedia articles, at least twice a day. I like learning. Just not the boring stuff we learn in school. I mean, when does Tourette’s ever come up? How about styles of the 1800s? Sensory defensiveness? Exactly.

If I were a hero, then could you be my, heroine?

It’s my third entry today.. But that’s all right.

In summer school, we had to do a collage, and I was looking at a magazine, and I was like, “Doesn’t that girl’s dress match the bed sheets?”, to Riza, and she said yes, and that I was good at it. And then the other boys around me [keep in mind, they're my friends] were like, “You look in magazines for fabric?” And I said yes, and they were totally blown away. It was interesting. I just met these boys five weeks ago- they don’t know much about me. It doesn’t help that we’re in uniform the whole time. I’d love to show off my dress to them just once! XD

Gosh, history fascinates me. It always has- but now that I’m really looking up on it- it’s such fun. Gosh, the Victorian era, Tudor era, the fashions of each era… !!! The fashion are what are really interesting. Corsetry, petticoats, bustles and crinolines! I’m starting to catch myself, watching those old movies on AMC, trying to get a glimpse of the dresses that the women wear.. XD

… What can I say? I tend to be very unconventional.

Wow, back in the 1500s, undershirts were the only garments that were washed regularly.

This morning I was searching Amazon for some awesome foreign candies. I did my shopping and was about to check out, and my original price of eight dollars shot up to twenty two dollars! Oh, I was angry. this means, that the shipping was thirteen dollars!!! Ridiculous! So, I got angry and got off the computer.

Hmm..
So, I am thinking of dying my hair, again. The last time I dyed my hair, it was temporary.. The highlights still ended up showing, and my hair was not back to its original hair color [which was the purpose!].. I think the brand mom and I chose was just not dark enough. So, maybe mom and I can buy another one, and give it another shot.
I’m not sure whether I should cut my hair again before school starts. I am comfortable with the length that it is right now, but it’d be nice to have the front parts of my hair to be at my chin, rather three inches beneath it.
Can you believe that I cut my hair in february, and it’s already so long? Oh, what a hard life I lead. Since my hair is layered, the front doesn’t grow as fast, so my hair is alot longer!

Sharpen your over-acting skills, to cut through the tension

If you’re looking for the dress I made- scroll down, and look at the previous entry.

Heh.
So, it’s pretty early. I woke up fifteen minutes ago. Thank god, that I actually slept longer than I usually do. Sure, only by an hour and fifteen minutes [hour and a half... ish] but it’s still more, and it makes me feel like I slept a whole lot longer. The psyche, it’s a cruel mistress.

I’m not planning on doing anything today. Maybe it’ll just be a relaxing day. Maybe I’ll go upstairs, watch some movies…

Or maybe I’ll end up working on another dress. That always ends up happening, for some reason. Gosh, I’m a real craftster =D

My arms are still, very sore. Last night I did not sleep on my belly like I usually do, since I prop myself up in such a way, that I have to use my arms. My arms seem to get sorer everyday. I wonder if we’re going to go into the weight room this week. RJH’s ghetto gym, is getting worked on, so we can’t be in there during the last week of summer school. Ironic- you’d think we’d be the first people to get access to the gym, or they’d at least work on it later. [I don't think sorer is a word. I keep reading it over.]

Hmm..
The object of my affections seems to be not that annoying as everyone tells me. I actually enjoy his company, and everyone else seems to, too. He’s an interesting fellow, he actually knows my ‘ex-boyfriend’. He’s good at talking, at least, I think he is. We’re supposed to have some kind of party on Thursday [the last day of PE], and hopefully, I’ll be able to talk to him.

Allie’s in California for three weeks, and she has not called me yet. It’s weird, usually she calls me the morning after she arrives. That’s kind of, what best friends do, if they have access to a phone. When I was gone, I didn’t have much of a chance to call her- we ended up talking on AIM, but she hasn’t been online either. I guess she’s just really busy, but it still kind of sucks, since so much has happened this week, and I need to vent. Of course, when she leaves, all of the exciting stuff happens, and I need to talk to her about it.

If you guys don’t know already- I’ve always had this love affair of books. Lately, I’ve been getting onto the library website, and putting books on hold. I’m only allowed to check out three books at a time, but since it takes a while for the books to get to my library, I just put as many as I want on hold. I’ve got this limit because, I’ve walked out of the library, holding my basket, with almost twenty books. Not tiny books either. And.. I had to pay a late fee on one of them. So, I have a limit. If you haven’t noticed, I tend to have alot of limits in my life. If you’re fourteen, you don’t want alot of limits.

.. And I’m in the middle of this major retro/vintage kick. I’ve been reading up on american fashions from the 1800s to 1940s. Then I took a brief look at french and european styles of the 1800s. It was interesting- I had tons of fun, but I wasted all of my internet time [which is, yes, another limit. Three hour limit.].

Wow, in the Victorian era, women outnumbered men by four percent, and that meant that over 750,000 women weren’t married, simply because there weren’t enough men. That led to the unmarried women, becoming prostitutes.

It’s just me and the moon, she said, and I have no trouble with that.

Today equals:
- Mitchell getting in major trouble. Pretty awesome stuff.
- Randy and I talking before school. He’s a pretty awesome dude. He’s fun to talk to. We had to sweep the upper gym this morning- since I talked to Champine before school anyways.
- Swiss balls + weight room + core = Amanda being so sore that her mom gives her a break from the dishes. Seriously, raising my arms has become an issue.

…
“It’s just me and the moon, she said, and I have no trouble with that, and I have my butterflies but you won’t let me die, it’s just me and the moon.. Seventeen years and all he gave her was a daughter.”

I love that song- but it makes me cry. Seriously- I get all dewy-eyed.

There’s this dude in my class, who is always teasing me in the weight room- I talked about him a few entries ago. He was at my station and we hit it off pretty well. Considering that he doesn’t look like the most confidant guy- his personality really blew me away. Because he is actually, pretty confidant in himself. He’s also very flirtatious [now, do you get it when I said that I mentioned him before? I hardly ever use that word to describe anyone, so I certainly remember.]

I’m on fire, and the day’s feeling hopeless.

Just going to write a quick entry. Today equals:
- Mitchell punched me, and he hit me with the frisbee on purpose. I’m going to tell him off tomorrow, he needs to leave all of us alone. No wonder he doesn’t have any friends.
- did football basketball, again. It wasn’t that fun
- walked around track for fifteen minutes.
- weight room + core. We did a hundred crunches. It wasn’t that bad, actually. I guess I’m just getting better. I made small talk with this dude who was at my station- he was nice. And, very flirtatious. I’m just being blunt- he was. But that’s just how people are around this age.

I’m hoping to make a dress this weekend. I hope that Riza finishes her algebra so we can hang out, finally. She’s getting ahead now, I hope we can hang out, we haven’t really hung out in a very long time. Even though we hang out everyday, I still feel like we are growing apart, in some ways. I’m just hoping that if we really hang out, one-on-one, that we can really talk. Maybe she can just come over, maybe sleep over. We got some new movies, it’d be fun to watch them. Maybe Angela can even come! I love how all three of us can hang out, even though they are sisters, they don’t really act like it. They act like they’re friends. And that’s good.

Angela’s really cool. She’s never been mean to me, she’s a very confident girl. She knows what she talks about. She doesn’t mind being silly, and she doesn’t bring herself down because of it. I enjoy her company alot. She’s very different- I’ve never met anyone like her. I expected her to be just like Riza, but that’s not the case. I’m happy that I’ve gotten to know her better because of summer school.

The Starting Line have announced via myspace that they have begun demoing for their Virgin Records’ debut.

I’m so happy. Happy isn’t the right word. I’m very excited/ecstatic… I’m as happy as you can get without screaming it out. This is so awesome. I can’t wait.

Ohhh! The thought of a new TSL record just makes me feel so good. It makes me feel all pink in my elbows. That’s a good thing. How I wish that I could talk to the band…
This totally makes my day. My week. My summer.

Onto other topics;
Today’s the first day of August. One more month and we are off to real school. Gosh, the summer went by so fast. I’m getting used to this cycle of having nothing to do- and now we’re about to go back.

We’re going to go school shopping soon. I used to love it- but now it’s starting to be a drag. I guess it’s all because of picking it out, trying it on, going to get other sizes, feeling guilty about the price, anticipating school again, wanting to wear my new clothes.. Ugh.

Oh, there are only six days left of summer school! That’s just awesome. Too bad I don’t see my friends much after school! We’ll figure something out- we always do.

You’re two floors down getting high in the back room.

Yes, I’m bored again, and making a second post of the day.

I want this week to be over. And next week. I’m tired of school, Champine, and stupid people. I want tomorrow to be the weekend. Of course- it’s not.

I deserve a break. Would it be possible for someone to medically induce me into a coma? Because really, I’m getting tired of not being able to turn my brain off. I have a thought- and it’s like, “I know what I want to say”.. So then there’s another thought that comes in. It is so hard for me to finish one single thought in my head. It’s like, there’s one main voice that I listen to, then there’s this smaller back up voice that tells me what I should think about, so when I finally decide what thought I want to pursue, the smaller voice is off, once more, venturing for something else to think about. [btw, is this normal too? I'm sorry, but the more and more I think about how I function, the more I figure out that I'm not as normal as I thought.]
I wish this was something that I can fix. I mean, if you’re sick, you take medication. If you’re hungry, you eat food. If you’re thirsty, you drink water. If it’s in your head, there’s not much you can do. I have to suck it up and deal with it, it’s not something that you can fix. And I hate knowing that.

Uh… I want to take pictures. It turns out that I’ve only taken up like .2% of my storage space on photobucket. I’ve taken so many pictures, and I haven’t even taken up one percent. At least I know that I can take more pictures now, without guilt.

I love house. House is such an awesome show. I wish it came out more. Maybe I can get dad to rent me season one on DVD, since the new season is coming on soon, and I have a very small idea of what the characters are all about. Cameron’s my favorite girl, and Chase is my favorite guy.. Chase is so hot- his accent is so cute, too! =D

Yup, there are thoughts of the freshman dance. It’s cool that we’re all finally ninth graders, which means we can go to freshman. It’s supposed to be really fun. Riza already got her dress. I’m thinking that I’m going to make my own. I don’t want to go out and buy it. Three hundred dollars for one dress? Ridiculous. So, if I make it, it’ll probably cost me under a hundred dollars- all I need is some fabric. Alot of fabric, actually. But that’s not bad, considering the prices of dresses these days.

The mindless comfort grows, when I’m alone with my ‘great’ plans.

Oh, what a day, what a day, what a wonderful day.

Today I can proudly say that I cannot, under any condition, play an official game of tennis. Neither can the people I was playing against [not to drop names but.. Your mom.].

We played tennis for half an hour, then we powerwalked. And of course, it wasn’t just me and laurie. I’m sorry- but I don’t always need all of my friends around, there are times where I just want to be with [insert name here], to get away from the crowd. And of course, that will probably never be a wish that will truly happen [I need a genie.].

Then we had break. Then we did a think run… and then we did Ten-minute abs.

We left school, and that was that.

[Gosh, I know I should be flattered- but I'm not. I don't want to be surrounded by my friends all the time. It's simple- and yet it's so hard for me to achieve. I need some alone time. And when I want to- I am just plain anti-social. Then everyone tells me that I am just not like that, so of course there must be some kind of dilemma I am faced with. There is- but it'd all hurt their feelings. ]

So, what am I listening to? I should brace my audience with the radical stuff that I listen to- considering that I have taste, compared to the mainstreamers.

- SpacePimps [Sounds like Blink, from their Buddha record.]
- Starting Line, I simply can’t get enough of them. Lately, “Hello Houston”,”Given The Chance”, “Playing Favorites”, and “Lasting Impressions” are my favorites.
- Surrounded By Lions, awesome new band with a different sound- I like it. The format that they recorded it on is very good- considering it’s self-produced.

… Eh, That’s all that I have off the top of my head- EXPECT MORE SOON! hehe.

Uhh.. I’m going to the post office tomorrow to send my swap partner her things- it’s going to be fun!

Thank god it’s the weekend. Maybe I can get another dress done. I just need to gather some supplies from my handy-dandy thrift store, and I’ll be on my way to dressdom in no time!!!

“What can I say, I’m easy to please.”
XD, I’ve said that alot and thought it a bunch- but I don’t think I’ve ever written it here- and it needs to be! lol

XD I’m so weird and no one seems to mind. Yesterday in school, I picked up my pen and started clicking it, and I was saying “Perfect white dots, perfect white dots.”, over and over. I don’t really see white dots- they’re more like white moons, but it sounds better to say dots. And no one said anything about it. I was around people I didn’t know that well- and they weren’t even obnoxious [and dude, they were boys.]. So it was pretty awesome. They didn’t even question it. I guess being pretty pays off. Or at least having pretty hair. [XD That was fun to write.]

Thank god.. I can sleep in tomorrow. At least a half hour later- that’s all I’m asking- because I am in major sleep debt. And trying to nap just doesn’t cut it.

(There’s no consolation prize) There’s no prize for consolation

Lalalalaalaaa!

Today equals:
- work with swiss balls, and plenty of “cardiovascular” exercise. I know she says that just to sound smart- hey, she’s a PE teacher.
- A test on goal setting and Ultimate Frisbee.

.. At least I’m never bored.

I spent my time online looking on wikipedia- about styles of the 1800s and up. It was fun. Too bad I have limited internet time.

I don’t have much to talk about, really. It’s been slowing down alot lately.

I’m started to get used to this summer school thing. That means that I have no interest of going back. It’s just that I have to wake up early. Last night I finally got a good night’s sleep. And then, I had no choice of whether I could sleep in or not. Yes, I did consider sleeping longer than necessary. I think I’m in sleep debt.

… And you ask, why doesn’t she just take a nap? Instead of being online? Well, my friend, I simply can’t turn my brain off. Once I’m awake- there’s really no hope of falling asleep again during the day. I have a hard time falling asleep anyways.

I’m getting into [again] I Am The Movie , it’s so much poppier than Commit This To Memory, so it’s easier to like, but then again, I know Commit This To Memory by heart, and I hardly know I Am The Movie, at least by title.

More time apart will give you, a few more months to argue.

All righty.

Today equaled:
12 minute swedish jog.
yoga.
studying for our test tomorrow, on goal setting and frisbee. I hate PE. Or maybe I’m just being cynical.

I’m thinking of making another dress [yes, I was that satisfied, that I decided to give it another go.]. Now I can do some modding, and see what I can come up with. I’m thinking of a button up front, instead of lace up. But that’s just a thought. The waistband will be green and the dress itself will be light purple/blue.

I don’t have much to write about- it doesn’t help that I’m in a really bad mood. Or a really sad mood. Whichever one is a more effective euphemism.

- I have no control over the things that happen in my life. This illusion that I have [or we all have.] that life is supposedly full of freedom here in the united states, and being young is so great- I have finally bypassed. I don’t have any freedom. I have to be so careful in asking what I want. I have to ask a week or two in advance so I’ll have the slightest opportunity to go out.
- My dad tells me that I should hang out with my friends more. I went out twice last week, the only time in the whole summer, and I am told that I am selfish- and that I am asking of too much. I did what he asked of me, he said that I should have fun. I never asked before because I knew that it’s such a hassle to even try. It’s ridiculous. It’s a quick drop off- and pick up. I do most of the planning.
- If I’m old enough to be alone by myself at home at night- do the dishes everyday- maintain a three point eight- wake up early- do my chores on the weekend- do my homework everyday- deal with the drama that happens in my head and what sparks it- I should be able to hang out with my friends. I haven’t done anything to make them not trust my judgement. It’s just amazing.

I told you I’m not in the best mood.

Your girlfriends and the rain don’t matter, the sun is what I needed.

Ohh.. God…
IT HIT 107 TODAY IN PASCO!

Can you believe that? We’re by the water, and we are cooler by a mere, fifteen degrees. It’s so freaking hot over here. I can’t imagine being in Pasco. Mrs. Thompson would always talk about she’d hate the other side of Washington because it’s so hot.. oh my god. I don’t know if it was this hot last year. I don’t really want to think about that. Or the fact that I am sweating in places that I don’t like being moist. Like my legs. Legs sweat, I didn’t know that.

Oh, and the Kitsap Regional Library in Bremerton got vandalized. Yes, it did. For the fifth time. I first thought to myself, “Is that library in the ghetto?”, and then I was like, oh, it isn’t. Who would vandalize a library five times?! Why would you need to do something like that? People are just weird.

And, you’re going to love this:
We are now asked to conserve our power. Apparently, in California, they’re using up so much power that they need to schedule blackouts, and these blackouts rotate between regions. The dude on TV said that we’re not that desperate for power, but if we keep using power like we are now and the heat wave keeps going, it might happen.

Yes. I’m watching the news. I watch the news in the morning actually, The Daily Buzz is pretty funny. But they run the same headlines, over and over. Or maybe I’m just not paying attention.

This is the funniest punk thread I have ever read.

And read Bishop’s signature. I love that signature. Or I’ll just post it here.

Originally Posted by actionandaction
You don’t have a profile picture, but judging from what you just said, I can imagine it would look like this:

That gave me a good laugh. But that’s only a little bit of humor off that page.

… I’m not a message board miscreant. Not at all. Three forums, AP, Nexus and Craftster, not bad, right? I’m not that active on ap, but I’m gaining!

You said the rain’s the rain, some air’d be good for you.

I want to start out this entry with something exciting. I need to be somewhat stimulated. I love being in situations where stimuli is everywhere. And that’s where I want to be right now.

So, Riza and I are supposed to hang out sometime on Friday- we’re still figuring out the details, but I don’t mind. Her boyfriend might come, but really, they’re not annoying me that much anymore. Her boyfriend is somewhat funny- and that’s enough for me to stop giving him such a hard time. Just as long as there’s someone else for me to fall back on, just in case Riza and her boyfriend get together, and leave me out. I’m sorry- but being the third wheel is not fun at all.

Today, I think I didn’t take enough protein, because my syn was going crazy today. I found out that I have all these different kinds, but I was too busy doing something else, that I didn’t pay much attention to it. My mind was going everywhere, it is now, but I can’t put my finger to it. Oh well- today was a great day, full of colors. It made me really happy. I had much more fun today, compared to my other days, and I think my synesthesia really helped!

So, today we played a game of football basketball. Really, that’s the game. Basically- you substitute a basketball with a football, and play basketball. It’s a weird game. And I ended up in a team of all guys, so I got three passes. Three. At least the guy I like, was the person to throw them to me. That made me happy.

I just read this thread, where someone was disappointed that their workplace doesn’t allow internet to be used on their computers! I was thinking about it and I was like, I’d like to be on the internet all day. I guess that’s because I have a time limit. But then I kept thinking about it and I was like, if all you do is be online, while you work, then what are they paying you for? What kind of jobs would let an employee use the internet all day? I don’t know- I’ve never had a job. I guess I’ll see what happens when I do.

Today has been such an odd day too. It’s like this:
At some time during the day, everyday, I just kind of lose my balance. It’s like, my eyes get all cloudy with hues of orange and green and red [sometimes, if it's real early, it's red and purple] and I lose my balance a little, it clouds up my vision and everything. [I don't think it has anything to do with syn, seriously, it's normal, right? It's been happening to me as long as I can remember. But I'm starting to question it, after this happened.] So today, my dog decided to drink out of the toilet and I went to the bathroom to close the lid, and right after I closed it, I lost my balance, like I normally do. But this time, my body got all stiff, and I started shaking violently [I hate using that word to describe something- but it's the only one I can come up with.]. My vision got all cloudy and I couldn’t see anything, I almost completely fell down, actually.

It scared me so much. I have no idea of what I’m going to do about it, because I’m afraid it’ll happen again in summer school, or anytime, really. I had no control over what was happening- I couldn’t move, gosh, it was one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. What if there is really something wrong with me? And I admit- this has happened a couple of times before- but it’s never been this bad. [I'm not even sure if I'm going to really tell anybody. Nobody really reads my blog, I think, so it won't be much of a deal.]

I wonder what we’re going to do tomorrow. Summer school PE is not that fun. It doesn’t help that I like a guy in the class- it makes me feel like everything I do is awkward. I couldn’t even relax during our guided relaxation. So, half the time my eyes were open. I broke the relaxing rules- I don’t care.

“you are walking along a soft sandy beach.”
… I made friends with a pelican. Guided relaxation is so weird. It’s not that I’m being close-minded, because I’m not, it’s just that the voice gives us instructions, and she just stops for like five minutes, then she keeps going. I get stressed out because I’m afraid that I’ll be left behind. So, I can’t relax through guided relaxation. It’s not much of a help that I can’t sit still- I was twitching like crazy, honestly.

I’d say it but I’m sure you knew

Oh god.. It’s so hot over here. Seriously- I cannot express in words how hot it is. Sure, it’s warmer in other places. But I can’t imagine the inferno they are dealing with. Honestly.

.. And days like this are perfect days to sit around and do nothing.
I, of course, did the opposite.

I am about seventy five percent finished with the dress with the pretty fabric right now- I have to hem it, and put in the eyelets, and it’s all good to go! Now, all I have to do is find an occasion to wear it. Maybe, Riza wouldn’t mind hanging out with me next weekend. I would not mind going with her boyfriend- and I’m sure she won’t either. Maybe she’d return my proposal with an agreement, and a fourth invite.. You know who. XD I wouldn’t invite him. lol, the thought makes me feel like laughing, so I’ll write this here for the first time: haha.

You can tell that I’m warming up to Riza’s boyfriend. No pun intended. He’s not that bad, I guess. Just as long as they don’t get all honky tonk around me, I’m perfectly fine! Riza’s happy, so I should be too.

LA!

Oh, and you know my perfect, non-burned hand? Well, it’s not so perfect anymore. I’m new to using my rotary cutter, you know that. So, today, I cut my index finger three times, with varying degrees of severity. And of course, I bled. And yes, it hurts. At least my nails look really pretty.

So, the Nexus is back up, and AP is down for a few minutes. I’m mad. I love everyone at the nexus, but I love everyone at AP too, so it really sucks that I can have one, but not the other. I told you that I’m not loved by heh-soos.

I’m going upstairs where the air conditioner is. It’s really hot down here.

I have, I try, I guess we’ll be all right

Today has been interesting.

I am really sore. Tennis, and yoga. And that’s it. I am still very very sore. That darn pink color! XD It is with me, every time I move because it hurts!!!

My crush has gotten at its height- this dude is so cool. He listens to the music that I do, and he has the same kind of sense of humor that I do. The music thing was pretty big- I hope to god that he’s not a mainstreamer- I swear if he is, I will not have this crush anymore.

Ugh, I have to do dishes. There aren’t that many.

Last night I made up a plan for a new dress- it’s going to be so cute. I have the basic idea, now I just need to go into details like the measurements and stuff. Which is pretty awesome. I just don’t know when I’m going to be cutting into my fabric.. I always feel bad cutting into fabric! It’s going to be blueish purple, and the waistband is going to be green. It’s an odd combination, but I think it’ll look awesome =D

I know you want it all- and you got me

It’s nine forty three! All right- I slept for a whole ten hours, I feel so invigorated. Or is it invigorating?

I woke up this morning and made myself two of those strawberry things. Then I made some muffins. They have oatmeal and jelly in it- I haven’t tried them yet.

I have tons of things to do today. Last night I made a to-do list for myself and it has about fifteen things on there- usually I have like five, and this time, it’s stuff that I actually have to do- not things that I wrote down to make my list longer XD

I AM TURNING FOURTEEN TOMORROW! And yet I have to go to PE. Great. Maybe my teacher will cut me some slack if I tell her that I am in a very emotional state, and I fear getting older. Or that I have a medical condition that keeps me from getting older, and the thought makes me feel vulnerable. It’ll be like Tuck Everlasting.

Last year for my birthday, my parents gave me freedom of restricted makeup. Don’t worry- I didn’t look like a hooker. You all know that =D I just had to pursue my love of eyeliner.

I remember last year when Riza slept over on my birthday, we were looking through magazines, and the funniest conversation ensued:
Riza- *looking through an ad for feminine hygiene products*
Riza: “What? They’re selling scented condoms? What’s up with that?!”
Me:”They’re not scented condoms, they’re scented tampons!!”
*We laugh hysterically, like normal now-both-thirteen-year-old girls*

So, you know that burn that I had to deal with? Well, nature had it’s way and it turned into a blister. It popped over night, and then yesterday night I wiped my hand on my jeans, where the seam was, and the skin totally ripped. It hurt alot. Dad fixed it for me and put a huge purple thing on it- it’s so cool looking. I should take a picture of it. But I don’t think you’d like to see my manly hands in a huge purple band aid. Okay, my hands don’t look that manly, but they do a little, because of the various injuries that have left their mark.

I am excited and I just can’t hide it- you know that list of things to do for the summer? I think I can mark one off- my birthday has been considerably better than my other ones. I actually have plans, to hang out with my friends.

XD EDIT!

Of course I didn’t forget about you. Blogging is simply my life. lol.
I wrote that^^ All on the sixteenth.

So, my birthday was pretty cool. I’ve had “Happy Birthday!” told to me so many times yesterday. It’s odd- everyone else cared more about my birthday than I did. It’s always been like that.

Riza had no idea that it was my birthday, and when she found out, she felt bad. Then we got to school and she wrote it on the board.

Megan came in and knew about my birthday right away. I went to her house afterschool, we had so much fun omg. Her mom said Happy Birthday to me like three times. I even got chocolate ice cream that had chocolate brownie in it!! Her brother and his friend were trying to be annoying by saying happy birthday a million times- but I acted like a bimbo, and was like “Oh my god! You know! You’re such a sweetie!!” XD Megan was cracking up. I think her mom likes me. But by saying that, I probably jinxed it.

Everyone was really nice to me yesterday. Not that people aren’t nice to me normally- everyone was nicer than they usually are. That’s better.
I had to pee and people volunteered to come with me- no joke.

.. Too bad my PE teacher did not cut me any slack, and she knew it was my birthday.

After I got home from megan’s house, we went to albertson’s and I got some pork chops; which is my favorite meal that nobody else likes. I even got some cake. It’s chocolate with cherry filling in it.. Yum!!

We got home and I started working on my shirtdress. I got food, and dad got me a present- lotions, lots of girly things- it all smells real pretty. It was cool- I needed lotion.. XD

My grandma on my mom’s side called- it was odd since we haven’t heard from her for like, six months. And for reasons that I don’t want to mention on a public blog- I’ll let you know that I felt bad talking to her. My mom was fine with it- oddly. [Get the hint?]. So, mom talked to grandma first and I talked to her second. It was cool that because of me, my mom and my grandmother are talking =D

My uncle called too, it was like seven thirty. Andy’s so weird- he cannot talk properly to people on the phone- he gives one-word answers, no matter how hard you try to get him to really talk. I talked to my uncle for a while and then I handed it to mom.

Today in PE, we did a twelve minute run. I ran 1800 meters, which is average. It sucked. For more than my health. I don’t want to talk about it here, because really, I would write things that I would really regret. It involves an old friend and her new interest. It’s not drugs, unless you count love as a drug. XD get it???

We also did measurements today. I was fine with it- my friends were measuring me [like, my chest, my thighs, my hips.. It's to see if you're healthy], and they were all girls. Riza was all stressing out about it and I was like, we are all girls and we all like guys. Don’t worry about it. I’ve been very blunt towards Riza lately- because she’s annoying me. She’s a great person all by herself, but she tries too hard to impress her boyfriend, and it’s in ways that I get involved. It’s stupid.

We got a new dude in our class yesterday and I admit- that he is not the worst looking. He’s actually pretty adorable. But you’ll be the only one that’ll know. Today, Laurie and I forgot to put our tape measure away, so we were going back to get it, and the new dude stopped us and said that he took care of it. It was pretty sweet.

After class, at one fifteen, I went to Old Town with Allie and Keisha. Was this part of the original plan? No. It wasn’t. I wanted Debbie and Karen to be there, and they both did not make it. I accepted that fact and found out that Keisha’s coming since she slept over at allie’s house. Keisha did something weird with her leg and it was hurting and she complained the whole time. I was like, if your leg hurts, why did you come if you knew that we were going to be walking around old town? She’s not that bright, but she’s brighter than that. It was like we were babysitting her. “Can we sit down?” “It’s really hot out here” “My leg hurts” “My leg’s cramping up” “Can we sit down now?” Gosh, is it tiring.
Now I know what it’s like to be a mother of a five-year-old. I swear. Every now and then me and allie would turn around and there she’d be, sitting down.