I’ll take you blindfolded dancing onto bridges

… “and you’ll say you don’t to be with me because no one ever does and no one ever thinks of me that way, but I will even drive you home if you never let me forget about you, and if you promise me that I’m good enough for someone. Because I’ve got to be good enough for you, and someday soon I’ll get it right, and then you’ll see just how good I can be.”

I hung out with Allie yesterday in Old Towne. Debbie was supposed to come, but she’s too busy working on that project. Allie bought me lunch and two skeins of yarn to make up for my birthday. It’s swt because I hardly ever get Debbie Bliss yarns. I only get it impulsively, because when I think about it, it really bums me out. It’s just the consumer from within trying to make a break for it, I’m telling you.

This project is death. I have no clue as to what my poster is supposed to look like, so I’m going to paste hello kitty; hamtaro; ewoks; a printscreen of the Wheaties website; a picture of a black man holding up the loser sign; darth vader; the cover of Snakes on a Train (seriously, that’s not a typo); polar bears; aliens; harry potter; Jack Bauer; and George Bush dressed up as Fred Flintstone. I told you I had no idea.

Two years have passed and nothing’s changed, that’s alright

… Still you just wait for that embrace, it’s alright. There is only one thing that has yet to be said, I am holding back. There is only one thing that has yet to be said, and it’s alright.”

So yeah. Today’s my birthday. I don’t know. I thought today would be better than this. I’m not complaining, but it’s so… I wanted today to be special. And I do not like that I wished that because this whole thing is stupid. I’m happy I’m alive. But who am I to expect that everybody else does, too? I don’t need a present or anything. I just want to feel a little special. I suppose I can’t get any more ironic. Everyone loves me and I know it, and yet for some reason, it’s not enough at this moment. Maybe I just feel insecure right now.

I’m going to Olive Garden tonight with Riza’s family. I’m really looking forward to it. But I’m not sure if that’s a valid statement, seeing as it is the only event I have to look forward to. But the anticipation of this only event and the excitement of it combined is good enough. Damn it, I think too fucking much.

But whatever. I am overjoyed that I have known Riza for this long. I’m also happy that Angela and I are getting to know each other better. Geez. Out of the fifteen years I have been alive, I’ve known Riza for nine of them. Amazing. And yet, I constantly change my mind. I suck.

I ran the mile today in the rain. I hate the world.

I know you want it all- and you got me

It’s nine forty three! All right- I slept for a whole ten hours, I feel so invigorated. Or is it invigorating?

I woke up this morning and made myself two of those strawberry things. Then I made some muffins. They have oatmeal and jelly in it- I haven’t tried them yet.

I have tons of things to do today. Last night I made a to-do list for myself and it has about fifteen things on there- usually I have like five, and this time, it’s stuff that I actually have to do- not things that I wrote down to make my list longer XD

I AM TURNING FOURTEEN TOMORROW! And yet I have to go to PE. Great. Maybe my teacher will cut me some slack if I tell her that I am in a very emotional state, and I fear getting older. Or that I have a medical condition that keeps me from getting older, and the thought makes me feel vulnerable. It’ll be like Tuck Everlasting.

Last year for my birthday, my parents gave me freedom of restricted makeup. Don’t worry- I didn’t look like a hooker. You all know that =D I just had to pursue my love of eyeliner.

I remember last year when Riza slept over on my birthday, we were looking through magazines, and the funniest conversation ensued:
Riza- *looking through an ad for feminine hygiene products*
Riza: “What? They’re selling scented condoms? What’s up with that?!”
Me:”They’re not scented condoms, they’re scented tampons!!”
*We laugh hysterically, like normal now-both-thirteen-year-old girls*

So, you know that burn that I had to deal with? Well, nature had it’s way and it turned into a blister. It popped over night, and then yesterday night I wiped my hand on my jeans, where the seam was, and the skin totally ripped. It hurt alot. Dad fixed it for me and put a huge purple thing on it- it’s so cool looking. I should take a picture of it. But I don’t think you’d like to see my manly hands in a huge purple band aid. Okay, my hands don’t look that manly, but they do a little, because of the various injuries that have left their mark.

I am excited and I just can’t hide it- you know that list of things to do for the summer? I think I can mark one off- my birthday has been considerably better than my other ones. I actually have plans, to hang out with my friends.

XD EDIT!

Of course I didn’t forget about you. Blogging is simply my life. lol.
I wrote that^^ All on the sixteenth.

So, my birthday was pretty cool. I’ve had “Happy Birthday!” told to me so many times yesterday. It’s odd- everyone else cared more about my birthday than I did. It’s always been like that.

Riza had no idea that it was my birthday, and when she found out, she felt bad. Then we got to school and she wrote it on the board.

Megan came in and knew about my birthday right away. I went to her house afterschool, we had so much fun omg. Her mom said Happy Birthday to me like three times. I even got chocolate ice cream that had chocolate brownie in it!! Her brother and his friend were trying to be annoying by saying happy birthday a million times- but I acted like a bimbo, and was like “Oh my god! You know! You’re such a sweetie!!” XD Megan was cracking up. I think her mom likes me. But by saying that, I probably jinxed it.

Everyone was really nice to me yesterday. Not that people aren’t nice to me normally- everyone was nicer than they usually are. That’s better.
I had to pee and people volunteered to come with me- no joke.

.. Too bad my PE teacher did not cut me any slack, and she knew it was my birthday.

After I got home from megan’s house, we went to albertson’s and I got some pork chops; which is my favorite meal that nobody else likes. I even got some cake. It’s chocolate with cherry filling in it.. Yum!!

We got home and I started working on my shirtdress. I got food, and dad got me a present- lotions, lots of girly things- it all smells real pretty. It was cool- I needed lotion.. XD

My grandma on my mom’s side called- it was odd since we haven’t heard from her for like, six months. And for reasons that I don’t want to mention on a public blog- I’ll let you know that I felt bad talking to her. My mom was fine with it- oddly. [Get the hint?]. So, mom talked to grandma first and I talked to her second. It was cool that because of me, my mom and my grandmother are talking =D

My uncle called too, it was like seven thirty. Andy’s so weird- he cannot talk properly to people on the phone- he gives one-word answers, no matter how hard you try to get him to really talk. I talked to my uncle for a while and then I handed it to mom.

Today in PE, we did a twelve minute run. I ran 1800 meters, which is average. It sucked. For more than my health. I don’t want to talk about it here, because really, I would write things that I would really regret. It involves an old friend and her new interest. It’s not drugs, unless you count love as a drug. XD get it???

We also did measurements today. I was fine with it- my friends were measuring me [like, my chest, my thighs, my hips.. It's to see if you're healthy], and they were all girls. Riza was all stressing out about it and I was like, we are all girls and we all like guys. Don’t worry about it. I’ve been very blunt towards Riza lately- because she’s annoying me. She’s a great person all by herself, but she tries too hard to impress her boyfriend, and it’s in ways that I get involved. It’s stupid.

We got a new dude in our class yesterday and I admit- that he is not the worst looking. He’s actually pretty adorable. But you’ll be the only one that’ll know. Today, Laurie and I forgot to put our tape measure away, so we were going back to get it, and the new dude stopped us and said that he took care of it. It was pretty sweet.

After class, at one fifteen, I went to Old Town with Allie and Keisha. Was this part of the original plan? No. It wasn’t. I wanted Debbie and Karen to be there, and they both did not make it. I accepted that fact and found out that Keisha’s coming since she slept over at allie’s house. Keisha did something weird with her leg and it was hurting and she complained the whole time. I was like, if your leg hurts, why did you come if you knew that we were going to be walking around old town? She’s not that bright, but she’s brighter than that. It was like we were babysitting her. “Can we sit down?” “It’s really hot out here” “My leg hurts” “My leg’s cramping up” “Can we sit down now?” Gosh, is it tiring.
Now I know what it’s like to be a mother of a five-year-old. I swear. Every now and then me and allie would turn around and there she’d be, sitting down.

But it’s okay, we’ll come around

Gosh, wireless mouses are cool. And annoying. AT THE SAME TIME! I come to the decision to type, only to accidentally hit the mouse, thus clicking the button and initializing some operation, here or there. Right now, I almost printed this empty page.

We went to mcchord today, without my mother. She needed sleep, she’s been having a hard time doing so at night. So yeah, we went today, and I had to wait for dad with Andy in the barber shop. Andy’s hair made him look like a dinosaur- and yet he doesn’t comb his hair or get it all chopped off. Interesting. I was folding every straight line on my dollar bill. People looked at me funny, and expected me to turn it into something spectacular, like a wine bottle or something. It was interesting. And it was fun making them think I’m some child wonder.

After we left- we went to the sports shop. Then we went into McChord and I got a large button-down shirt. I can now reconstruct it into that awesome dress- look it up, wists-style. The large men’s button down shirt only cost me.. badabing! THREE DOLLARS. Awesome. Love my rad money- saving skills! It’s not even that ugly, I do admit though, I wouldn’t say it’s the prettiest. But hey, it’s for recon and anything looks good in a dress. . . almost anything.

We went to St. Vincents after, I got some cool vintage fabric. It’s an aqua color- but it’s cute. I also got two bags of buttons. They are not alot of them, however- St. vinnie’s is smart at making a profit. It’s a two and a half inch by three inch bag - pretty tiny. But I got some big buttons and alot of them- The person donating was generous- or the person packing the buttons. I spent a total of three dollars and ninety one cents , pretty proud of myself. I love buttons! XD Big buttons are so cool. I was talking Allie’s ear off today about buttons- she wasn’t that enthusiastic.. Tsk tsk, those non-crafters!

Megan called me today and asked me if I could go over to her house on Monday after school. I was not home, and mom was sleeping, so she talked to the answering machine. Dad said that I’ll have to talk to mom- who knows when she’s going to wake up!!! I’ll have to be patient- which is something I have been working on all this week.

I got another proposal yesterday. The whole idea is, sometime next week, Allie, Debbie, Karen M. and I will go to Old Town Silverdale [for you all that are not from around here- it's a collection of shops that are spread out a couple of streets. It's really cool.] and shop, look at the shops [dude! THRIFT SHOPPING!!!] and eat lunch there. We just have to decide on a day that we’ll go. I don’t want to wait until Friday- it’ll make the week feel longer and I’ll be too anxious.

So, I was thinking Tuesday. But, the bad thing is, I have summer school on Monday through Thursday, I get out of PE at twelve, but I’ll need to take an uber quick shower and meet them there at one. We’re going to meet at the library, I guess, since it’s the biggest place there. We haven’t worked the details out, but my friends love me and they’ll be willing to work around their schedules =D

I am really looking forward to it- not only do I get my present from Allie [not that I'm expecting anything big.. XD She's been telling me about it ever since she's gotten back from NY, it's supposed to be a big present. I'm trying not to be excited, but hey, my birthday is coming up! the one time of the year that I get presents and proposals to hang out, for one occasion.] but we’re going to have so much fun! I haven’t seen Karen in the longest time- and Debbie and Allie are always a blast to hang out with ;)

.. And then, there’s the whole- hanging out in Seattle with Laurie, Karen H., Megan, and maybe Riza plan. We’ve been planning this ever since the last two weeks of school- it’s just that our schedules are so packed, for the most part. Karen can’t go on Sundays [or Saturdays?] because she has church, Riza has church too. Then there’s the parental issue. Our parents are so protective- at least mine and Megan’s. Karen’s and Laurie’s parents are very willing to let their daughters go. Laurie’s mom volunteered to take us in the first place. But then there’s the pricing on the ferry.. There are so many factors. I want to go- it would be fun- but it’ll be a hassle to put together.

I love cooking. Cooking makes everything better. I love cooking various things- at the same time or one after the other. It’s just so fun. If I have a problem- I cook. Or I sew. I love that void while you’re doing it. It’s either you’re only thinking about the thing you’re pursuing, or thinking about the problems that have nothing to do with the activity. It’s so fun. I guess this is the kind of feeling other people get when they do sports- I’m too busy messing it up!

It’s four twenty and gosh darn it, I’m kind of tired. I wanted to do something crafty. But will that happen- NO! Of course not! I have to get started in the afternoon or in the early morning. If I do it at night- I end up not being able to stop, and I wind up staying up late, or just not finishing the project the next day!

My swap partner sent me an e-book through e-mail [heh, that was a fun sentence to write and read over!] and it is so interesting! It’s about projects to do with soda can tabs and about said items in general. I like it- I just got started reading it- I’ll read it more after I get offline, so I won’t waste my precious internet time! [no one will get at me lucky charms! XD when was the last time you heard that?! =D]

Dad got an exercise ball- and it was interesting to see Andy play with it. He’s eleven and yet he acts like a five year old! Hah! He was on all fours on that darned exercise ball, he was falling all over the place! XD I cannot express how funny it was! I, however, have had experience with such equipment and I, indeed, did not fall off the ball! Amanda did good- yes, she did.

.. And then, with all my plans, I just remembered- I told Riza that on my birthday, she might be able to sleep over. It is too short notice to call her now and ask her to sleep over on Sunday, who knows if I can go over to Megan’s house, and if Riza did sleep over, we’d have summer school the next day. Gosh- summer school is getting to be really inconvieniencing [.. I did not spell that right- don't write me letters]. Last summer I had no plans at all- this summer I do, yet I have to attend summer school, I hope this pays off in the end. I cannot help but feel like I am wasting part of my precious summer. Yet, I have fun in summer school. Oh, what a dilemma XD

Edit, sort of:
I hardly ever edit. But a thought came to mind, and I thought that it would be pointless to write a whole other entry, if I just had a simple thought:
I decided not to check an e-mail account [I have two, one that I mainly use that is AOL, the other one is a hellokitty account. ] for two days, and I recieved sixty eight new e-mails. Oh, spam, what a beautiful thing.