I need you like water in my lungs

… “I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean.”

My mother is supposed to cut my hair today. My brother is having a friend over. I am making tapioca pudding right now (from scratch, no doubt)

So, it’s time to conduct internet search part six, I believe. I’m off to venture the internets to find an awesome kirby game for SNES.

but omgz! As I was searching for super nintendo games, lo and behold- a Beavis and Butt-Head game. And a LOTR game. But the first one is cooler. I just wonder, what could that game include?

“You’ve got to help the mentally deficient duo score tickets to a GWAR concert, but the boys don’t have any cash to buy tickets. The idiots decide that taking pictures of themselves doing “cool stuff” will be enough to get them in free. In order to win the tickets you’ve got to guide Beavis and Butt-Head through four levels: “Highland High School,” the “Streets of Highland,” “Highland Hospital,” and “Turbo Mall 2000.” Each level requires you, as Beavis or Butt-Head (or both if you’re playing with a friend), to avoid enemies and solve puzzles. Once you reach the end of the game, prepare to square off against the members of GWAR themselves in a showdown of epic proportions.”

Today, I cleaned my room once more. I organized my fabric (most specifically, my scrap fabric) and my buttons. I love buttons. With a passion. If I had a million buttons, that would not be enough. Sadly, despite my love of buttons, I do not know what to do with them, really. Lame.

It seems Laurie is very bored at the location at which she is vacationing. She is actually using her e-mail address. Kind of.

So, I can proudly say that I have lost my 2004-2005 yearbook. And that I cried over it. I’ve done alot of crying over these past couple of weeks.

I’ll be blunt about it; he totally blew me off and it hurts. And I feel so stupid for finding offense in it. I mean- other people love me right now and I can’t even appreciate it. How terrible of a person does that make me? I suppose I deserve getting ninja-ed by a bicycle.

When I read the things I’ve written on here… It’s quite fascinating of how personal I get on here. But then again, nobody reads this. And even if people did, it wouldn’t matter. Because I made these people up.

So maybe it’s time for me to get emo for the first time in a very long time. Which is a good thing, I suppose. But I don’t know. Stress is a natural process which takes place whenever any kind of change occurs.

… It’s just that, I’ve been thinking alot about graduating. Not from the junior high, but from the high school. It’s going to happen sooner than I expect. And then I will no longer be a teenager, necessarily. And I’ll have to go to college. And get a job. And settle down someplace to “finish up my life”, so to speak.

And giving up my friends, more or less. And that will happen. I hate thinking of it. Oh, we’re all going to different colleges. And no matter how much effort you put into keeping in touch, it’ll eventually go away.

“I don’t know why, but we just stopped communicating.”

Oh, everybody’s going to do such great things. I really believe that. Although the abundance of the statement takes away meaning, I really think so.

I can’t imagine how somber that day is going to be, at least for me. It just won’t show up until the last twenty minutes.

… And with my father being away and everything, it’s so weird seeing my mother act this differently. I mean, she’s so cheery. And cuddly-wuddly. And just darned honest with things. I don’t know how to interpret that. Maybe she is like that with my father and when we are not around. Maybe she is displacing her loneliness with affection in excess.

… And you know, when I said these past three years were the best in my life… I take that back. I find that statement far too broad to describe my feelings. If you separate the good parts from the bad, the good parts were very good, while the bad were.. Very bad. And if you put them together to summarize it all, I don’t see them canceling each other out.

The best parts of 2004-2007:

1. Meeting Andrew McMahon
2. Getting on the radio
3. Going to Seattle with Daniella and Teagan
4. Summer school.
5. Making friends with everybody I know now
6. Maintaining most of the friendships throughout my junior high school career
7. Celebrating three more birthdays with Riza (both of ours alike)
8. The freshman dance xD
9. All the sleepovers with Megan/Karen/Riza/etc. Swt.
10. The Azteca field trips, sadly
11. Getting two ipods =D
12. Getting braces
13. Getting glasses
14. Going to California

Bad parts of 2004-2007:

1. My hamster dying
2. the whole self-mutilation thing
3. starting a whole new regimen of medication
4. all of the drama within the first year of junior high
5. All of the resulting stress from school, mostly this year
6. Going out with some dude. And then breaking up with him.
7. All the other crushes I had on dudes. Especially the one that completely messed up my eighth and ninth grade year.
8. The whole thing with Nick
9. The whole AR thing
10. Math classes.
11. Summer school.
12. Blink 182 breaking up =(
13. Getting in a car accident
14. Getting braces
15. Getting glasses

Internet search part five- Double duty

Went garage sale-ing today. I picked up two new pieces of fabric [I suspect it's wool. One's gray, the other's black. The lady was going to use them for slacks, but I'm going to make an a-line skirt with godets.. I see those everywhere lately, and I'm starting to like them] for three dollars.
I also saw Lorren and Shelley! I was SO surprised that they were hosting a garage sale! I didn’t look around much, considering that I was talking to Lorren and Shelley most of the time. Mom and dad bought some stuff, I just don’t know what. Lorren was selling her old backpack- I was tempted to buy it, gosh darn it- ten cents for that piece of art? =D

I got home- and the only thing I worried about was the fact that I didn’t find any MythAdventure books at any garage sale. So, I got online. Hence, internet search part five. I am getting more frustrated, and no purchases have gone through yet. I have seventy dollars- but I’m not willing to spend six dollars worth of shipping, they’re crazy.

We might go to the blackberry festival next weekend. I’m looking forward to it. I went a really long time ago [I mean, way back when I lived in housing!], and I really liked going. Everytime I hear about it again, I want to go, but we don’t.

I started realizing that out of all the people that went to JP and are currently attending CK, I’m the only one who hasn’t gone ghetto. Amazing.

Hey now, the straw dog’s out in the street.

I’ve been working on that dress from that pattern all day long. It’s been quite a trip- and I don’t think I’m even halfway through. It keeps my mind busy- so I guess that’s all right. Summer’s nearly over, and when I’m bored, that’s all I seem to think about. It makes me feel sad.

I was invited to go to the fair today with Megan and her family, but mom had an eye doctor appointment [she got tested for glaucoma, she's fine though], and dad has to work. So, I could not go..

Tomorrow’s maze! Oh, what should I wear?! I want to wear something nice- not just my sweatshirt. Riza and I are sharing lockers this year, actually. That was not expected at all! The reason why I wanted to be partners with teagan in the first place was because I was hoping that this way, we wouldn’t lose touch in ninth grade. But, I don’t think we’ll lose touch- we will probably end up being in the library just like last year. I’m happy that we have this established thing in the morning!

I’m waiting and waiting for House to come. Dad got it from blockbuster- but it’s on his queue and.. The gods hate me! It keeps skipping house, because it’s out of stock, but I guess I’ll just suck it up. I’m hoping it’ll come soon enough- so I can watch it AND catch the season premiere =D

I’ve been looking online constantly, trying to find:
1. Something Corporate/Jack’s Mannequin/Starting Line posters
2. Any book that I currently do not have in the MythAdventures series. Half.com is a pretty cool place to go to get cheap books. But of course, Myth-Told Tales is one of the most expensive books on there.

Dude- two weeks and school starts. Oh.. How I miss the summer already. It’ll be a long time before I actually have absolutely nothing to do for three months. I hope this year won’t be stressful. I definitely hope that it won’t be dramatic. I doubt it will be- last year was very mellow. The only factor that made everything stressful was me- this year, I don’t think that I’ll make it bad.

Preseason week three (Aug 24-28)

My hands smell like bleach. Clorox smells funny. Clorox smells like bleach.
INTERNET SEARCH PART FOUR!
Looking for a Starting Line/Something Corporate poster. Simply put- I have seventy dollars and I’m only willing to pay five. Maybe eight if I’m truly desperate. I’ve been to merchnow, merchdirect, interpunk, and smartpunk. The gods hate me.

Maze is on Friday. Joy of joys- I have to pick my locker partner. Either Riza or Teagan. I told Teagan I would at the end of the year last year. But Riza and I do carpool anyways. How will I break the news to teagan? Goshdarnit.

This is the first thing I remember, and now it’s the last thing on my mind.

Mom and I went to see Hancock Fabrics; it’s been talking about a closure for a while so we thought that checking it out might bring some awesome discounts. And little did we know- it finally closed. So, we went to Sally’s, and I got some hair dye. The lady who helped us was really nice.. And then I found out that she’s the manager [nametags help like that.].

Oh! INTERNET SEARCH PART THREE.
I’m on the lookout for cheap cotton jersey fabric.. So I can make the cutest/easiest dress in the world. It’s like this. . It’s not usually my style, but this lady made one, and I like it.

… And the search is partially over. I just can’t get into my card to see my balance. I am mad. Very angry, because I’m frustrated.

I need to come up with a clever anecdote.

It’s early and nine twelve in the morning!

I enjoyed my bread from yesterday for breakfast- and I have eaten so much, and I feel so full.. Only to realize that I have barely eaten through half of one loaf. I baked two loaves last night.

Wow, I’ve been reading lots of blogs lately- and they are all complaining of rain. Here, in the rainy state, it’s not even raining! It was actually, very warm yesterday! Now, I’m starting to miss the rain, but that’s good. It rains during the school year, and it makes me get past the regret that I have wasted another summer.

Well, I’m off to Internet Search Part two, to try and find some imported candies- believe me, I need to gain that weight. I’ll update later on in the day, for you to see what I’ll yield.

… And yes, I’d rather go to Seattle and buy the japanese imports from there- but that idea is very far-fetched- since mom and dad never want to go out. The truth hurts.

If I were a hero, then could you be my, heroine?

It’s my third entry today.. But that’s all right.

In summer school, we had to do a collage, and I was looking at a magazine, and I was like, “Doesn’t that girl’s dress match the bed sheets?”, to Riza, and she said yes, and that I was good at it. And then the other boys around me [keep in mind, they're my friends] were like, “You look in magazines for fabric?” And I said yes, and they were totally blown away. It was interesting. I just met these boys five weeks ago- they don’t know much about me. It doesn’t help that we’re in uniform the whole time. I’d love to show off my dress to them just once! XD

Gosh, history fascinates me. It always has- but now that I’m really looking up on it- it’s such fun. Gosh, the Victorian era, Tudor era, the fashions of each era… !!! The fashion are what are really interesting. Corsetry, petticoats, bustles and crinolines! I’m starting to catch myself, watching those old movies on AMC, trying to get a glimpse of the dresses that the women wear.. XD

… What can I say? I tend to be very unconventional.

Wow, back in the 1500s, undershirts were the only garments that were washed regularly.

This morning I was searching Amazon for some awesome foreign candies. I did my shopping and was about to check out, and my original price of eight dollars shot up to twenty two dollars! Oh, I was angry. this means, that the shipping was thirteen dollars!!! Ridiculous! So, I got angry and got off the computer.

Hmm..
So, I am thinking of dying my hair, again. The last time I dyed my hair, it was temporary.. The highlights still ended up showing, and my hair was not back to its original hair color [which was the purpose!].. I think the brand mom and I chose was just not dark enough. So, maybe mom and I can buy another one, and give it another shot.
I’m not sure whether I should cut my hair again before school starts. I am comfortable with the length that it is right now, but it’d be nice to have the front parts of my hair to be at my chin, rather three inches beneath it.
Can you believe that I cut my hair in february, and it’s already so long? Oh, what a hard life I lead. Since my hair is layered, the front doesn’t grow as fast, so my hair is alot longer!

Internet Search, part one.

Since I have been without flour for the past couple of days, I’ve been having the hugest desire to bake something. I’ve had dreams, in fact, where I bake up some ladyfinger cookies and made tirimisu. I don’t even like coffee. So, a few days ago I was reading someone’s blog, and they had this recipe for no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies. And, of course, I can’t find it, now that I need it. And with my luck, the recipe I will either not find, or I’ll find it later, at a less convienient time.

When we were in Cali, my aunt gave me this wonderful recipe for blueberry-peach cobbler. It’s so yummy! But, I misplaced it, of course. I put it in my binder when I was in Cali, found it when I got back during school, and I put it away somewhere. I seem to lose alot of recipes.

… You saw this edit coming.
I finally found the recipe.. I got past my stubborness [".. But, I found it on a blog in the first place, I should find it on a blog now."] and used the search engine of my choice. So, here it is, from me to you. I’ll see what happens on my end. Thank god there’s no use of flour in this recipe:
Ingredients:
1/2 cup margarine or butter
2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup peanut butter
3 cups one-minute oats

Directions:

Melt margarine in medium size pan. Add sugar, cocoa and milk. Bring to a rolling boil for 1 minute.

Take off burner and add vanilla and peanut butter, stirring until peanut butter is dissolved. Add oats and stir until well mixed. Drop by spoon full on waxed paper and let cool.

Surprisingly easy, no? I’ll try and take a picture of the finished product, if I make it. Technically, this was an experiment to see if I could find it…