… “This should be a night to be remembered. We’ll remember. You can be sure of that. Unexpected- you’re expected. No one else will know that you’ve been crying. Think of where we are and who would care.”

(This post is from a few months ago. I’m trying to clear out my saved drafts. I just don’t remember when I wrote this or if I did post it and wordpress messed it up. Whatever. Enjoy the nostalgia.)

Knowledge Bowl has been pretty amazing. We went to a competition last week. I couldn’t be prouder of our team. I suppose I get the point of “team morale,” now. And yeah, it’s a sport if you compete. I got a free pencil, even if I *kind of* stole it from one of the judges. I spent twelve dollars on two sandwiches and bought the most disgusting drink I’ve ever had. All in all, it was a great day. Even if the homie that asked me out in summer school was there. He goes to Olympic and we shared the bus with them. All the way to Fort Warden, which is about two hours from home? Awkward, yeah.

I’ve been knitting like crazy to get my winter solstice presents done. And just doing random stuff to get these presents done.

Other things have been going down, but it’s quite stupid and is a huge waste of time so I’m not going to elaborate further. It’s not stupid, but absolutely irrelevant. You know, disjointed.

It snowed. Our house kinda flooded, too. It was very minimal, but it was enough to get my mom nervous for days. Like, omgz a corner of our house is letting a tablespoon into the downstairs of our house.

I read what Logan wrote in my yearbook. I didn’t really know how to respond to it, mostly because I didn’t know how he wanted me to respond to it. Anyways, it made me cry for about an hour and I ended up speaking to my yearbook about it. Like, why do you keep doing this to me? And stuffs. He was like, yah, you’re a good person and a terrific writer. And then at the end he said that maybe “we’ll get closer.” How was I supposed to interpret that, necessarily? I was speaking to Anthony about it and he said that he thinks that Logan’s being sincere about it and that he wouldn’t mind getting to know me better. Because if he hadn’t brought it up again, of his own volition, then he probably was just being nice. And I’m thinking, “Cool.” Gosh, as much as I love him and as much as I try, I don’t think we’re ever going to get together in that way and if we were to, it’d be really disastrous. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Seven people like me right now. If one were to herd these seven people into a room, they would be a “small crowd.” Wow, I hate everyone.

But anyways. I don’t know what else to say. The last time I wrote here, things were very different, you know. Just… very different. I had no reason to think that Logan didn’t care about me, because he kind of does. At least enough to reassure me twice that I have some sort of chance to get it on. But uh, I don’t know what the deal is with Debbie, so I won’t go into that. But to everyone else that doesn’t read the newspapers; she doesn’t really want to have anything to do with me. Or whatever. So, that’s what the protagonist of my life story is dealing with at this point, among other things. I don’t need to elaborate any further now, yeah.

We bought a huuuuuuge tv for our downstairs living room. We didn’t have enough room in the car for me AND the television, at which point I discovered everyone’s true priorities. I had to sit on top of the cardboard box on the way home. Sure, we broke about sixteen different laws as we did it, but we brought “the big boy,” home.

I’m off to find some blank pages to write all of them down

.. But I guess a blog works.So, today I went to joanns and I got some really rad fabric. Rad, like, dinosaur and smurf babies. Yes.So, some more cotton toile [the last one I got, was flannel toile] and some pink polka dotted.

AND TONS OF WHITE FABRIC.

that stuff is really niftyy, actually. I am totally in love with..

Cartel.Seriously.. Good stuff right there.I love them so much.Right now, If I Fail and Burn This City is my favorite
LALIE LEFT ME AND SHES HAVING A BAD TIME IN CALI! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAH
Karma.
the best thing ever since chocolate milk.Only not as good tasting..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHNothing else much, went to the dentist and it was a ten minute appointment.
I want to make a shirt, all I need to do is decide on the fabric and improve my old pattern, and it will be all right. I think I need to give like, two inches of allowances on the side and it’ll be a tee instead of a three-quarter.
teehee.

Here we lay again, on two separate beds

HELLO BRETHERENS OF THE WEBBERNET!

OH! I made a livejournal. I know, now I will be rad, somewhat. SO it is like fifty times more rad. my sn is actually in the beginning of the URL. its so cool and professional. it makes me feel like a goddess of the webberdom. so then it goes like this.

Yes. Very poorly made. I just started and I haven’t gotten into it, so please, dont judge it. BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M RAD and dont go and get one too. because you will suck. actually, I dont know, or care, just make sure I get some rad credit? por favor? gracias, amigos queridos. HEHE.

highlarious. isnt that such a splendid and radtastic word? I THINK SO. because. it is so rad. teehee.

allies birthday is coming up and guess what I’m going to give her? you guessed it, A CLOWN. she will never see it coming.

it will be totally mature and reasonable and you know what its going to involve?? A CLOWN SUIT! wooo. not really. but you know. RAD.

OK SO TODAY WAS REALLY STUPID BUT IT PAID OFF IN MODA WHEN I TALKED TO KEISHA. I feel all special and giggly and fizzy inside.

Tomorrow is TUESDAY! i’ve been telling everybody that for just about.. All of today and some of thursday! YEAH! Love it, people.

So I flew across the country just to find your broken words

Starting tomorrow, it is indeed the end of this radtastic weekend. yes, and I do, indeed, have to wear a skirt.
I will have fun with THAT.

Went to the acorn thing and had a BLAST! the sad thing is, the car did not start and we had to get a jump from one of the waiters. He looked like luigi, and did get help from mario. Yes. both of them had to help with their turtle-kicking, car-jumping TALENT.

the dinner was very fun and I had tons of time to talk to THE MORGANMEISHEINDORA! I dont know how to pronounce that BUT the true point is, I hung out with the gorgeous Morgan. Tons of fun. But I did look like a huge idiot, lol.

so yeah.

just finished my essay, so its pretty rad and it absolutely..

sucks. I cannot find a way to end it so I just stopped writing.. Concluding paragraphs suck.

I made some salmon last night and it was yummy.

Do you find this blog a pleasure to read? I sure hope you do. I write here so much and I try to as often as I can in a day.

SO YEAH. I’m ending this entry. bye bye, you ungrateful, unappreciative blog reader.

today I didn’t go to school. Haunter died last night in his sleep. My eyes hurt so bad, my head does too. My stomach has this stupid feeling and I feel so horrible. It was so sad.

After I got home from school I did my homework and stuff . Later on at like, seven , I held haunter and he was shaking so bad. He was also very cold.

So, I held him until about eight thirty, I was crying so hard. I was holding him and he was so lifeless, when I put him down he wouldn’t move to get comfortable, he just stayed wherever I put him. He was also breathing out of his mouth, he never breathes out of his mouth. So I thought he was thirsty and tried to get him some water but he wouldn’t drink it, I put the thing by his mouth and he wouldn’t drink so I moved the ball on it and it got in his mouth, but then all the water fell out of his mouth because he wasn’t moving. He was breathing, he just didn’t do anything. I was crying so hard.

So I put him back in his cage and I woke up at around 1:55 and I picked him up and he wasn’t breathing. I started crying and I didn’t manage to get back to sleep, so dad let me stay home.

I don’t want to go to school tomorrow for the same reason why i didn’t go today, I am afraid that I’ll end up crying.

I am still crying right now. This sucks. I feel like crap. My eyes are all red, my face is all puffy, I am so sore, my stomach hurts so badly. I can’t stand it.
mom said that he had a good life and that he was lucky to have such a loving owner.

It sucks because he has been suffering for so long, he couldn’t see! I guess its because he is so old.

He is at least four.

Maybe even five.
I am so used to him being around all the time, now that he isn’t, it makes me feel so empty. This time, I mean it.

What is life really? It amazes me how I feel like I am not real at all. I wonder if I am alive. I don’t understand the things I do. I feel like I cannot control anything anymore, even though I know that I do have power. Do I have power but I don’t know how to use it? I cannot believe how confused I am. I feel like I am not really living my life. I only see myself doing things but I don’t know how to control myself. I don’t understand how I am anymore. I am too different than the world even understands. Yes, I am a teenager, this is a stage? How do I know this is only a stage? Yes, other people think that they are really weird and different. But no one thinks the way that I do. It depresses me to know that nobody else feels or thinks or acts the way that I do.

OMGITSWINTERBREAK.
It makes me happy knowing that I dont have to go to school for two weeks. two weeks really isnt much, but it will feel longer because of the excitement of the holidays.
I am going to try and be more open here.

I hate anticipation and I hate being excited. It does not matter to me whether it is a long period of time or even a short period of time because I know that after its over I will not feel the same way or I will be let down. I picture the turnout and it is always too far-fetched to be met.

this is all sounding stupid, and I know you are thinking that it is stupid of me to write. even for me to write that you are thinking that makes me sound stupid.

today sucked too, and I don’t really want to talk about it

just because it is all really stupid.
uhm..
I got a book from the library called Danielito y el dinosauro. I LOVE IT. ITS ABOUT THIS LITTLE BOY WHO VISITS A MUSEUM AND HE MEETS A DINOSAUR AND THEY GO AROUND TOWN. Sure, its a picture book, but I love it =D
This week is almost over, thank god. I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE DAY UNTIL THE WEEKEND. I have more time to brood that way.
We are getting a tivo upstairs next week.
I have to do some stuff this weekend. I was planning on going to the mall and getting christmas presents. But Riza can’t go. I want to go with Allie but mom and dad won’t let me. I don’t know, maybe I’ll go with Morgan, I have been planning on hanging out with her more.
ohh guess what?

I’m synaesthetic. Nope, not SYNTHETIC. its weird. I dont want to explain it. Two people called me freaks for it. Its about thinking.
Great, I’ll just write it here because you all are going to think things. Well.. I see numbers as colors. its like, one is yellow, two is blue, three is green, four is purple, and so on. Supposedly only one in two thousand Americans have that. I asked around about it and nobody else thinks this way. Isn’t that just splendid? Really. I always thought that this is something normal. When I actually talked about it, this happens. It is not a bad thing. It means that I am creative and right-brained. Apparently. This is not the stupid thing either.

The stupid thing is a whole lot stupider just because I make it that way. Alot of guys like me, and the one I want to like me, does not. That is really lucky. Uhm.. yeah.

I want to listen to Blink so badly right now.

Am I strung out crazy or not allowed to be the one who gets stupid over you? Lazy, laid-back, maybe youre just on crack, why am I the one who gets f***** up over you?

Yup. Thats what I am wondering.

This is sad. And stupid. Really.

When I actually have to write about it on my ONLINE JOURNAL, it gets pathetic.

I have learned so much about myself in the past month, its amazing.
I mean, in one month I accomplished to know I am the following:
- synaesthetic
- psychic
- clairvoyant
- an empath
- PRECOGNITO
that all I can think of right now. but it does surprise me. It is cool, I guess.

Today after school I went to the memorial for mr.ron, for the first time I cried, and I preferred not to be around everyone else. the whole feeling in the room was depressing. everytime I talked to someone, it just made me feel like crying more. Mr.McNett was there, I wanted to talk to him, but we left. I’ll see him again, I know it. That is all that is really exciting, really. Its not even exciting in the right sense either. I am really tired. I am really stressed out.

STRESS IS NOT GOOD. DO NOT BE STRESSED. OR ELSE YOU DIE. AND YOURE STRESSED, SO THEN YOU ARE REALLY SCREWED.

Anyways… Lets see how I can put this:

In February, Blink 182 broke up, for the reason that they wanted to spend time with their family… we all know I was devastated.

Recently, Mark has produced the Motion City Soundtrack record, he runs his own clothing line, and he has started up a band called plus 44 with Travis. Travis is making a new record with the Aquabats and the Transplants record has also come out. Tom hasn’t really done anything, but now he is also in another band called Angels and Airwaves [ I love the name btw ].

In a recent interview with Kerrang! Magazine, he seemed very competitive with Mark and Travis, and also like he had an ego. He said that blink was just a stepping stone to further his music career. He also said that AAA’s new record is going to be so great, he said that he thinks god made it. he also said that Travis and Mark are going to be blown away. Now that I think about it, I have a theory:

Would blink’s publicist say that they wanted time off because they wanted to be with their family, to cover up the fact that blink had a fight?

All signs point to it.

first, wouldnt blink lead on that they wanted to spend time with their families by just not touring anymore? second.. the tom thing. And also, it seems like tom hasn’t done as much as mark and travis has. for instance, tom doesn’t have a clothing line, while both mark and travis do. mark and travis are both making new bands, and they have been talking about it for a while, and tom just decided to make a new band. you can tell that tom has been trying to get at least some of the spot light by directing that taking mack sunday video, raising money for charities and making those new macbeth shoes.

I love blink to death, you guys know that, I am not trying to tear them down by writing this..

it makes more sense that they had a fight rather than taking a hiatus, and while being on that hiatus, doing the opposite of what they said they would do

Today was.. ok i guess:

In first period we got to choose new seats and it was weird.. I sit next to allie now and that dino rawks. I also sit next to Brianna B, Karl, and Corinne. We have to do this stupid play or something.. Oh god Corinne wants to make.. Sock puppets. Dude, I don’t even have any time to clean my room, how can I possibly make a crappy sock puppet? On something I don’t know about? Exactly.

In second period we did notes and stuff. I managed to get that part of my homework done. I was all sad.

In third period we read. Of course.

In fourth period we went over homework and stuff and guess what? NO TEST!!

In fifth period we… ?

In sixth period we got a stupid little thing for John Hopkins. I have been getting that thing ever since fourth grade, I still haven’t been convinced. I have to do homework for this class still.. Ugh.

In the morning, I was crying so I didn’t get to put any makeup on, but I did manage to spill my favorite loose powder all over my room. Of course. At least I managed to save some of it, and I still have my back-up. I didn’t have any idea of what I wanted to wear so I just wore a sweatshirt and jeans and called it a day.

I have to read as far as I can in my book to get credit for more pages for this quarter by the end of this weekend. Right now [including my last book] I have about four hundred pages. Just enough to score.. A C+. Great.

The movie night thing was tonight and Riza came with us, it was rad. I saw Evan after everything was winding down, I also saw Kyler Cain. Gosh I haven’t seen him ever since.. The beginning of last year! Its so weird because I have known him for a long time and I am not really friends with him, it’s just the way I have always pictured things with someone I have known for a long time I guess.

efore school, I met allie in the library, which was rad. Then I changed into a skirt. Dude its amazing how many people love lettered me on my skirt. I actually wasn’t that cold! So shocking, eh?

In first period we did notes.. again. Gosh its so weird on how that is all we do.

In second period we did a lab and I did all the work. the people at my lab table suck. All of them. None of them helped me at all. Sure, they may self-credit themselves, but when Mr.Borgmann realizes all the math and stuff on my paper, he will totally realize how everyone copied me. I am thinking of talking to Mr.Borgmann about all this crap. Seriously, everyone in my group thinks that I am a little twit that they can totally walk over, I am so going to tell Mr.Borgmann. I don’t deserve to be in a table full of perverted, stupid, talkative, inconsiderate, slacking losers. It is so stupid I swear. The next one we do, I am going to do all the work, and I will not give anyone any answers. seriously.

In third period we read.. and thats it. . We did some worksheets..

In fourth period we got progress reports! I got a B +! So rad! Oh I am so happy! I thought that I would get a C.. But my test was pretty good!

On the way to lunch I switched out of my skirt and into some jeans. It was getting colder. So.. yea. thats what happened.

In fifth period we just did notes and stuff.

In sixth period we talked about the story we were reading.

Uhm.. After school mom was talking to me and I was crying on the way home. Oh god it sucks.

.. AND THEN I TOOK A SHOWER, AND THEN I WASHED MY HANDS. AND THEN I WENT OUTSIDE AND THEN I WASHED MY HANDS. AND THEN I HUGGED MY BROTHER AND THEN I WASHED MY HANDS. AND THEN I WASHED MY HANDS, AND THEN I WASHED MY HANDS.

THE SHAME NEVER SEEMS TO WASH AWAY.

sorry, couldn’t help spreading the love =D

Today I went to the ortho and missed fourth period, I thought I would get back by then, but it didn’t happen.. I hope I don’t get marked late for the project..

Anyways, here is what happened today:

in first period all we really did was… finishing the Virginia colony thing.. I finished it really quick hehe

in second period.. All we did was notes.. Thats it. That class is so boring I cant stand it. It is also so freaking cold…

in third period we.. read. and read. and read. fascinating since I am in grade eight reading, no?

in fourth period.. Well, I wasn’t there, so do you really think I would know? I’ll tell you what happened at the orthos.. Ok. Well.. I was excused from class and I came to the office and Mrs. Affleje said that I should have told her in the morning I was going to be excused so.. Yeah. Anyways, me and mom left and I told her about my day, we got to the orthos and we had to sit down and I told her what a horrible morning I had. Then they called me up and I brushed my teeth.. Again. Then the lady sat me down and she said she didn’t have to tell me what she was going to do since I had my top braces done before. The lady dried my teeth and put the brackets on and stuff. Then she took off my rubberbands and then I was good to go =D

When I got back to class, fifth period had already started. So I walked to class and I knocked on the door and through the window everyone saw me. So weird. Then I sat down and I had no idea of what Mrs. Gallaher was talking about. We watched a movie and it was funny towards the end.. Nobody got it though! Now I feel like a true mexican.

In sixth period we read the Lie and it was ok, I wouldn’t say I would like, bring it home to finish it.

At around one, one twenty-ish, we went down to the assembly and dude, it was one of the most boring hours of my life. Seriously, it was so corny. The guy had a flashing nametag… Dude. That is really sad.

After school Allie came with me to my locker and stuff since her sister-in-law was going to take her shopping after school! So rad. I wish I had a sister-in-law, but then again, I would be scarred for life thinking about how my brother produced a child. Yucky.

Anyways, mom was in a bad mood after school and it got me in a bad mood, I didn’t like it. Dad was there too. We went to Costco and I haven’t ever been there before so it was weird. There are like fifty sample stands. All the food tasted like crap.

I am gonna go eat, I’m not sure if I’ll write later, but I’ll try.

and to me… what could be worse?

its punktastic. It’s fun. It’s fantastic. Work it out.
Tomorrow I am going to the mall with Riza! W00T! lol. sorry, couldn’t help it.
Dude, I don’t get invited to parties.. Like, Jenna’s, Brooke’s, Keisha’s…Dude, this sucks. Not that I am the kind of party-person, but still, it would be nice to be invited every once in a while.

In the neighborhood there have been lots of wallet-stealing/car-jacking/robberies/stuff. Dude, thats sad. Someone even had their gas stolen. That is really low. I hope nothing bad happens to us. … But just in case:

-I want my blog and my diary to be published.
And then someone will have to deal with the bloody details..

Haunter is almost completely bald. I feel so bad for him.. He also has really dry skin and I have no idea of what to do! I really want to help, but since I am sick, I can get him sick and it will only make things worse! Ugh, it makes me really really uber angry.

I messed up again. Oh, God, I have no idea of what I feel.
This is really stupid: Today before sixth period I talked to Ryan the first time ever since.. Well.. Summer and after I broke up with him.
I went to my locker and as I was turning around, I saw him, so I stuck around a while and he left, then I left and then I was behind him, I still had quite a bit of time and a ways to get to Phimister’s, so I said hi, I was damned if I did talk to him, and damned if I don’t. So, I decided to give it a shot. I remember everything.

Me: Hi.

Him: Hi, I mean, hey.

*McKay comes up, messes with his hair. He likes it, oh god, the stupid look on his face was hilarious. McKay walks away without saying anything and Ryan looks after her. You know what I was thinking? “Oh God, Just ask her out already, you liked her when we were going out, you hurt me once, go right ahead. ” *

Me: You know we really need to catch up.

Ryan: Yeah, I guess.

Me : Even though I broke up with you, I still care about you.

Ryan didn’t say anything.

Me: Yeah, whatever, I have to get to Phimister’s.

Then I walked away.

Can you believe this? I mean, really believe this? I came back to class and I was shaking and I was just so surprised on how I just came up with all that crap.

I wish I never acted on impulse, because that is all I do. I promised him that when we break up, that we will stay friends.

Now I realize how much of a butt I have been obsessing over all this. Even though it still hurts to see him, I am now realizing how much of a butt he is. Just like Laurie said.

With all of this I know now, everything inside of my heart, it all just seems to be how nothing I feel moves me at all again I wait for this, how I wait for the world to break in two.

It would have just been easier if I never went out with him. A crap load easier. Great, now all I think about is how he got over me so fast, how it all means nothing, even though nothing really happened, just how all those phome calls and the three dollar valentines day card and everything just means.. nothing.

Right now all I am thinking about is him, just like before, only it hurts now, and it is actually getting annoying.

I know everyone is getting tired of reading this and hearing about this, but as much as I write, I don’t feel better like I usually do. This is getting so frustrating because I feel like no one understands. For some strange reason, I thought talking to Ryan would make me feel better, like it did before, but now, I just feel a whole lot worse.

Every single time I hear a sad song, I think of this. I know I am being over dramatic, but what can I say, I am menstrual.

Oh, God. Did this all like, really happen? My goal was for this year to be nothing like last year, and now, little by little, it is. Hopefully I can stop it before it gets out of control.

Today in Mrs. Johnson’s class, we did notes. thats all.

in Borgmann, we watched a video and I.. yea. I hope I dont look like I am trying too hard. Like, Really hope. Because, I made that mistake last year. Just like, flirting, constantly.

in reading, Mrs. Efdingtons son came in to have lunch with his mom and all we talked about was Iraq. Oh, I feel depressed.

in geometry all we did was the test. I really hope I did well on it, because my mistake last year was that I didn’t pay attention and I almost flunked out of algebra.

in spanish we did the test, and thats it. My partner is rad, she rocks. Her name is Heaven and she is really nice. To like, everybody.  Amber Zuehls said before class that this guy was following her through the halls as she was talking to her friends and I told her that I would hate it.. and then some. She said that it must be bad because “you are like, the nicest person ever” Aww. That was such a kodak moment. Amber is rad too, she has two classes with me. She is really nice and I talk to her in geometry alot.

in phimisters.. I couldn’t pay attention. At all. So all I did was stare at her and look like I was paying attention. And when she said something and paused, I nodded my head. I know it’s a bad habit, but she didn’t catch on. I won’t do that anymore, but today, I made an exception for myself.

Mr Borgmann’s class is freaking cold. I hate it. I have to buy a new sweater, like, badly. But I don’t really have any money, so that blows. I can try and find something online, but I haven’t had any luck. Gosh his class is so boring, I am really sorry, but it is. April just totally ignores me, I know she doesnt mean to, but she does. She has been for a while ever since last year but I never really thought about it. I didnt expect us to be like, best friends, but when I try to talk to her and she is the other way or she doesnt talk to me back, it makes me feel very lonely.

I don’t really know what to say, but I know this all was an accident.

I confess, I messed up

… “Dropping ‘I’m sorry’s like you’re still around. And I know you’re dressed up, hey kid, you’ll never live this down!”

Today was ok I guess.

1st period: I took my quiz and I think I got at LEAST a B. That was pretty much all we did.

2nd period: Turned in stuff and thats it. I got an F in the class! Don’t worry, I brought it back up to an A by just one simple move: I turned in the homework that was due the day I was absent. I hope that was all I was supposed to do.

3rd period: Substitute. We read. then we read a short story. And we read again.

4th period: Studied for our test, which is tomorrow! Ugh.

5th period: Studied and then some. Tomorrow there is a test. Of course.

6th period: I don’t remember what happened there.

After school I went to my locker and dropped my books off. Then I went to the library and renewed my books, and then I turned in a book. I am thinking of going to the library tomorrow morning so I can get something, maybe a cookbook. I am still deciding, we all know how hectic the morning is.

This morning me and Riza just walked around, pretty freaking simple. We were planning on going to the all-district, since someone I know might be going.. I don’t know but dude, I just don’t really care. It would be pretty cool if I went, but I am just not really a dance kind of person. Sure, I am loud occasionally, but I jsut cant picture myself at a dance. It is too freaking loud, and you know I hate that.

This is pretty stupid to say but.. That someone is the first person I actually liked ever since the whole thing with Ryan and I feel so weird knowing that me and Ryan are really over, and I really need to move on. Oh, god. I cant believe how many times I have thought this but I haven’t actually done it or said it.

Uhmm.. I don’t really know what to write. After school I went with mom to JP since dad had an appointment with Mrs. Backlund so he can plan out his movie night thing. It’s gonna be huge. you know that.

I don’t know what to write again. I think I’ll probably get a B on the math test, since we can use notes, I am working really hard on it. I don’t want this year to be like last year at all. Last year sucked in every single way.

Have you ever been so sure something happened, and then you find out that it never happened? It happens to me all the time, and I hate it. Its so frustrating. I get really tired of doubting it.

Well, lets see what happened today:

first period: not bad. I don’t really remember what happened. I just remember that Mrs. Johnson talked for a really long time.

second period: I just got more confused. We had to go to the lab tables and talk about our lab, really stupid, and i didn’t get it. Ugh I got so mad.

third period: We read, hence the subject : Reading. Oh boy, I feel so smart right now. That class is getting more and more boring, seriously.

fourth period: We corrected homework and stuff. Thats it.

fifth period: Boring once again with a stupid substitute teacher. We had to watch this movie about Mexico, ok, not that boring since there was a part about a marketplace, which was totally rad. Thats pretty much all that happened.

sixth period: Hmm… Phimister talked.. And talked.. And talked. what else do you expect? We did this test on what happened yesterday and guess what? I missed most of them! I was happy that it didn’t go in the grade book =D

When I got home, all my homework was done so I decided to make some almond-cinnamon cookies for the first time. They taste horrible. I thought it would come out bad since the book said to put cinnamon on the outside to “make a delicious crust”. You know what they meant? Oh, you are going to love this.

Cinnamon burns.

I knew that already, but that didn’t stop me.

So when I got my second batch out of the oven, the oven hated me for making it bake crap cookies. So, I got burned. And it hurts. Alot.

allright.

Ahh.. I was wrong, Dad said I couldnt go to school. I will not give you reasons why because they are way too gross to describe, sorry.
I actually wanted to go to school, I have assignments to do! It gets me uber angry.

Lol BECAUSE I CAN! uh huh uh huh

Well… Yes, I am sicky. But I am still going to school tomorrow!

You said we were an accident, with accidents you never know, what could have been, you said we were an accident, you’ll always know its my favorite one..

That song rocks and it is stuck in my head.

I have my outfit and stuff ready for tomorrow but beware people, my nose is really red. It is natures way of saying that you are very contaminated, which is sad. Me knows.

Last night I kept getting up and realizing that I was hot, then I fall back asleep, then I wake up again and realize I am cold, and you can see where this is going. I didn’t want to get up and get some Tylenol or Motrin. I woke up at around five and realized that my nose was really really stuffed up and I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t want to get up and get some Dimetapp. You can see how well I slept last night huh?

I woke up at seven in the morning and I didn’t get any more sleep. God I hope I get better. I had to start my chores at eleven and I finished the kitchen but after that I had no energy at all. Dad said that later in the week I can finish my chores when I get better.

Dad picked a pear from the backyard and I ate it, no sugar or anything, but it was really sweet, I thought it was weird that it was so sweet because the pears you get in the market or whatever have the flavor and texture of a mousepad and sadly, I am used to it. but i thought it was kinda rad that they were so sweet. the places that grow fruits and stuff for supermarkets grow their stuff for quantity and how big the stuff is, not how good it tastes.

I kept trying to take naps throughout the day and I didn’t get any sleep. So that resulted in me being really crabby, but not really, but I was very irritable. I managed to take a shower and then I cleaned my room a little bit. Just like picking up clothes off the floor because my room is getting really messy.

Yesterday I finished off two kleenex boxes. Today I haven’t finished one so I am getting better hehe.

I dont know how I am going to be tomorrow, but I know Mom and Dad wont let me stay home.

Dad keeps acting like I have AIDS and I have an unattended amputated arm. He doesn’t like germs and he is making sure that he wont get sick.

I don’t really want to type much right now, I probably will try to later. I am not sure if I will write any more entries this week.

Nope, never really did get the chance to update again, but its friday so i can write.

I am sick and it sucks, i don’t even know how i got sick. I eat healthy. i bathe. i wash my hands. dude, this isn’t fair.

today was ok, i talked to important people =D

Oh god, I am so tired. I swear I was about to fall asleep in second period. I couldnt read my book because everyone was just so freaking loud. I couldn’t stand it.

Hmm.. What to write? I got lots of homework and i managed to finish it in the library for Phimister hehe. Awesome huh? Thought so.

First period: Watched the weird movie.. Twice. but for different explorers so I guess thats ok. We watched… Portuguese explorers and.. I forgot the other one. It was still very funny to watch. I got a smartie for turning in something, I wasn’t hungry and I thought it was too early to eat something as sweet as a smartie.

Second period: Of course, boring. I am getting used to Mr.Borgmann talking on and on and repeating himself, which is groovy but gosh, sometimes it just seems like he never stops talking. We had like fifteen minutes of free time, I had nothing to do, I didn’t want to get up so I read my book, but obviously, I couldn’t concentrate at all. At times, I wish I had a bubble to live in. Oh yea, we watched this thingy on mummies, very gross, but kinda cool. I didn’t like the part about the big hook going up the persons nose and they turned his brain into mush and drained it out, it sound really cool, but it was really gross to WATCH.

Third period: We read, I almost fell asleep. Then we went over vocabulary. I remember just thinking over and over “When does Ms. Eddington stop talking?” She goes on and on and she is really loud. She is a nice teacher but, my head hurt because of.. Her.

Fourth period: We corrected homework and didn’t do warm-ups, we haven’t in like two, three days? I forgot. We went over stuff and did our test. I think I did pretty well on it, but most of the time when I do, I get a lower grade than I expected.

Fifth period: We played this game.. It was horrible. I couldn’t stand just going around the room and talking to people. It sucked. I just don’t like doing that kind of stuff, I know how stuck-up that sounds and how anti-social it sounds, but I HATE doing that kind of stuff. Once again, we had “hang time” it is just so funny hearing Mrs. Gallaher say it. Heaven is always talking to someone else and Katelynn usually is too, so I am all by myself until the bell rings.

Sixth period: Phimister, Library. What fun? Laurie and I turned in our assignment and then we sat down and did another. I finished all my homework, which makes me very happy.

When I got home, I was NOT in a good mood. I was tired, Andy was being a butt.

Tomorrow we go to McChord, which is really rad. Maybe I’ll get more songs.. Hehe.

Nothing else much to say so..

Yeah.

hehe =D

Today was really weird. My emotions were just.. off the wall. one minute, I am just totally happy, then the next I was about to cry [no one noticed, thank god.] , then the next I was so mad. ugh

Lately, I just dont feel in control of my life anymore. It just makes me so sad. I cant really tell people about this kind of stuff.
Right now, I am just tired of being me.